What you SAY is what you GET

Do you know what is wrong with the following four ‘don’t’:

At your office	1. I don’t want to be late.
At your restaurant	2. I don’t want the restaurant to give away my table.
At your tennis court	3. I don’t want a double fault.
At your home	4. I don’t want to argue.

What is Wrong with 'Don't'

There is, of course, nothing wrong with the grammar.  Yet, the more you say to yourself using ‘don’t’, the worse the situation will be.  Why? 

Before you know why, go back to the last time you told yourself, ‘Don’t be nervous.’  Did it work?  I mean, did it really work?  (If it did, you may stop reading this post.)

But if you pay close attention to your mind, or your self-talk, do you notice anything special, or any pattern? 

Our mind (to be exact, the part we call unconscious) is something weird and strange.  What does that mean?  It means our mind does not understand things in negative.  When you say ‘I don’t want to be late’, your mind will read it as ‘I don’t want to be late’.  That is, the more you use ‘don’t’ to encourage yourself, the bigger trouble you will get into.

What Should You Say

As your mind cannot understand the negative, you have to talk to it, actually yourself, in the positive.  So ‘I don’t want to be late’ becomes I am punctual and the other three are:

(At your restaurant)   The restaurant will ‘reserve’ the table for me.                                                 

(At your tennis court) My serve is beautiful.

(At your home)            We live in harmony.